“Dr. Sue Johnson has finally written the indispensable book for every couple in love.”

The American Journal of Family Therapy

Love is a Dance

love is a dance

 

There are only so many dances in a love relationship.

The happier we are, the more fluid and varied the dance with our partner is. We feel safe together so we improvise and play.

But do you notice that, when we fight, the dance is always the same? It is narrow – small – not many moves. We feel like we have no options. The negative pattern takes over the relationship.

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Marriage Makes A Difference To Your Brain

marriage brain

 

Marriage makes a difference to your brain – and the safety of your world.

We live in a co-habiting world. Many of us do not even bother to walk down the aisle anymore. So my neuroscientist colleague Jim Coan’s recent finding that our brains make a real distinction between formal marriage and living together in terms of how we deal with danger and threat is totally fascinating. (more…)

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Monogamy: a myth or a possibility?

 

Is it natural for human beings to live a monogamous existence? When I ask this question, people look at me with surprise and answer derisively. A colleague from Europe tells me, “Oh, no-one is getting married these days. They are just so discouraged. What is the point? Monogamy is unrealistic, impossible.” My friend mutters, “It’s about time we gave up on that one! It’s a myth.” So when I am asked this very question by a television host, I take a very deep breath before I answer, “YES. I think we are naturally monogamous.” You can hear jaws dropping everywhere. (more…)

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Possible to Fight Fair?

 

 

Fights are the times when our relationships with those we love come into sharp focus and hit us right between the eyes, so to speak.  They are not fun!  And lots of couples seek help simply to stop escalating the arguments. So when couples argue, what works and what doesn’t work? (more…)

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The Best Investment

 

The stock market is falling; mysterious codes called Nasdaq and Dow Jones are now at some record low. What does this mean for families, for couple relationships? (more…)

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Love That Lasts A Lifetime

 

Can romantic love last or does it have, by its very nature, a best before date? One writer has suggested that love is only “designed” to last for about four years, or until the offspring of a romance can survive without two guardian parents. Other research has suggested that love inevitably fades after about 15 months. But mostly we seem to have collectively decided that natural life of a love relationship is even shorter than this. After all, if love is a fever, then it has to die down. If you ‘fall” in love, then I guess at some point you stand up and dust yourself off. Even our language suggests that romantic love is brief. (more…)

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